As I sit here and look at this paper, my mind goes blank, my heart becomes weak. I'm on the brink of death. The thrill I once felt when a pen was put in my hand is gone. It's been 20 minutes now and my hands are numb. I can't feel her grasp trying to pull me back. It's been 10 months now and my body is numb. Her sex has become a meaningless threat to my survival. It's been 2 years now and this page remains blank and my heart has come to a complete stop.