In search of the truest love... by personofinterest

I find myself constantly thinking that other people deserve things more than me and by believing this I end up attracting these realities. In relationships I always fear that my partner will find someone "better" or "prettier", and that leads to me being constantly paranoid, which leads to the fighting and eventually to the end of the relationship.  In my work I constantly feel that other people get opportunities because they deserve them more than me. That demotivates me and then it makes me not give my best efforts, which eventually results in bad results.  With my friends I always feel that I need to impress them for them to like me, as if just being me is not good enough. By doing so I put myself in situations that I don't want to be in.  Whenever things are good in my life, I always feel that something bad needs to follow, because things "can't be that good for me". At the essence of all of this is a lack of self love that I have difficulties working on but it causes me to sabotage my own life.  I feel like I accept myself and who I am, but I'm realizing that there is a difference between accepting yourself and LOVING YOURSELF.  I hope that by realizing this, I'm one step closer to getting to know how that feels... 💙