Floating by momo215

Floating I’m not sinking just floating. I’m not completely above the water nor completely under the water. It’s a fine line. I’m not sure if I just want to let go of the branch I’m holding on to and let me sink. Or if I want to hold on to it tighter so I’m a little more than just floating. I’m already drowning with the thoughts in my mind and my feelings. I’m ready to let go. But I know I have so much to do. It’s like a long check list in my mind. But it’s like everyday it gets longer. I also have so much stuff I actually want to do. But most days it’s hard to get out of my bed. If you asked me last year what I would rather do, I would have said I’m ready to let go. But now I have a lot more days that make me want to stay afloat and I couldn’t say that last year. But sometimes the water gets really big waves I can’t control. And it’s like I’m drowning but not for long. But when these waves come I’m trapped and not thinking anything. But after the waves my thoughts and feels rush back over me still making me feel like I’m drowning. The drowning part never really ends. But there is a difference between the two. The first one hurts more than the second one. But the second makes me want to keep floating. I’m holding on to the branch tightly and I’m not ready to let go yet.